one two three fourrrrnication!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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