it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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