the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
