I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
