and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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