then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
