i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
