Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
