Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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