No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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