my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
