Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
