WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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