I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
