I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
