Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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