ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
