hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize