I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
