Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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