Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
