is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
