so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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