The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
