i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you would pick up someone in the library
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
