I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
