It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
