Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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