Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
