I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
