I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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