She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
two words: eviction party
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
