Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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