i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
