sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
