whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
