the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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