then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
