Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
