His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
