Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
