So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
