We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize