if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
