He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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