You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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