You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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