If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
