I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
