i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
