Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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