why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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