Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
