I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
