Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
