Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
