oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
