Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
