Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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